Broken
by Salix15
Summary: 5th in my Faberry series.  After dinner at the Berry's everything is looking up for Quinn and Rachel.  When Quinn notices Santana's worsening mood, she enlists her girlfriend to help the Latina express the feelings she's bottling inside.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel Berry sat at the dinner table with her jaw slightly agape, and her brain frozen in shock. She shouldn't be surprised by this, but she was. Her dad was notoriously protective of her, and when she was still with her former love interest this same situation took place, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about it. Thanks to her dad and his questions, the fun, light-hearted atmosphere was now tense, and the blonde looked about ready to bolt.

"I do want to move out of Lima, sir," Quinn said politely, and tried to calm her pounding heart. His questions were becoming increasingly difficult for her to answer simply because she didn't have the answers he was looking for, and he showed no sympathy. "I just haven't figured out what I want to do with my life yet. Isn't that what college is mainly about?" She nervously picked at her cuticles, her food long forgotten as her stomach twisted into knots.

"For a lot of people, yes it is. For some it's about fulfilling the drive they've always had. Sort of a stepping stone between high school and completing their goals," he said, and Rachel could not believe he just said something so rude. To an outsider it might not have been so bad, but she knew what he meant by that. He thought Quinn was passionless, maybe even lazy. The worst case scenario in her mind was he thought Quinn was simply going to ride her coattails once she became a famous Broadway star.

"Dad, don't say things like that to my girlfriend," she said, her voice full of bite. She could tell by the look on both of her parents' faces that she had crossed a line. If they had asked if she cared, she would have told them hell no. "Not everyone has the next ten years of their life planned out, and there's nothing wrong with that. So why are you giving Quinn the third degree like this?" The blonde sat there silently watching the diva's outburst, a mixture of shock and fear running through her veins. She didn't want Rachel getting in trouble because of this.

"Rachel, calm down. I'm just trying to get to know my daughter's girlfriend," he said, and started cutting up another piece of roasted potato. "I did the same thing when you brought that Hudson boy over to the house."

Quinn tensed at the mention of the football player. She knew it wasn't true, but it felt like Hiram was saying things just to hurt her feelings. She did the best she could to keep her emotions off her face, but she was afraid she looked like a pouting child.

"You're doing so much better than Finn, by the way," Leroy said and gave the blonde a warm smile.

A small smirk tugged at the corners of Quinn's mouth. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but the thought of Finn blowing it with Rachel's parents made her feel a lot better. Rachel caught the look on the blonde's face that only lasted for a second or two, and the diva rolled her eyes. Did everything have to be a competition between the former cheerleader and their ex?

"No, you're not, Dad," she said, still sounding irritated despite the looks her father was giving her. Her girlfriend was clearly in emotional distress even though she was trying to hide it, and if it's one thing Rachel couldn't stand, it was bullying. "If you wanted to get to know her you would be having a normal conversation with her. All you're doing is drilling her with questions and making her feel uncomfortable." Although Quinn did appreciate what Rachel was trying to do, another part of her really wished she wouldn't.

The last thing she needed was Rachel's parents thinking she was weak. How could she expect them to trust her to take care of Rachel if they thought she couldn't take care of herself? How were they supposed to feel comfortable around her if they thought she needed to be treated with kid gloves? She didn't want them to feel that way about her, and she knew that Rachel's good intentions were going to make things worse.

"Do I need to send Quinn home and ground you?" Hiram asked, and the tension in the room doubled. Rachel stared back at her father defiantly, but she didn't say another word, much to Quinn's relief. Leroy started to say something, but he was interrupted. "I've lost my appetite." Hiram stood up from the table and took his plate and empty glass into the kitchen. It wasn't quite a storm out, but the drama of it resembled Rachel, and a small part of Quinn wanted to smile.

"Quinn, I'm so sorry," the diva said, her dark eyes full of worry and sadness. "I had no idea he was going to act like this." Then she turned her attention to the silent man at the table who was slowly nursing what was left in his glass. "Daddy, what's wrong with him tonight? He didn't act this bad when Finn came over." That statement made the blonde's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"He's scared, Pumpkin. Just leave him alone for a little while," he said, and continued with his meal. Rachel kept pestering her daddy for details, but Quinn completely tuned her out. He wasn't hard on Finn, but he was being hard on her. The majority of his questions revolved around things that hadn't happened yet, and he had become slightly agitated when Quinn couldn't answer his questions about the future because she simply had no clue what to say. He was scared, which meant he viewed Quinn as a threat; she just wasn't sure exactly why.

"I'm going to go talk to him," the blonde said, mostly to herself. She wasn't even aware anyone had heard her until a silence fell over the room. Rachel looked over at her like the blonde was going crazy. It was probably the same look people give the person at the zoo who tries to pet the tiger only to have half their arm scratched off.

"Quinn, you don't have to do that. He's insulted you enough for one night," the little diva said, and Quinn looked into her worried eyes and didn't break the gaze. She didn't need Rachel to understand right now, but she did need her support. She took a deep, calming breath, and she wasn't sure if she was seeing things or not but it looked like Rachel was starting to calm down too. At least as calm as a high-strung person can ever really be.

"It's ok, Rachel. It's not like he's going to say anything worse than what my parents have already said to me," she said as she stood up. Before she walked into the kitchen, she lay a hand on the diva's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. She knew how important Rachel's fathers were to her, and any kind of conflict really upset her. She hoped that the silent gesture brought the other girl some comfort. Then, much like at the beginning of the evening, she took a deep breath and entered the room with one of the most terrifying people she'd ever met.

He was standing at the sink, hot water running over the dishes and steam fogged up the air. He had his hands on the edge of the sink, his body slightly hunched over, and Quinn had no idea how to interpret his body language. She slowly walked into the room and cleared her throat. He turned and looked over his shoulder at her, but didn't make eye contact. After a quick glance he turned back around, and she felt very unwelcome, but that didn't stop her from standing next to him.

"Mr. Berry, sir, I need to explain something to you, and it's important," she said, and took another calming breath. Her heart was beating out of control, and she was on the verge of tears, but she needed to get through this. "My entire life I have been groomed to be the perfect daughter, and when I grew up I was expected to be the perfect housewife to a good Christian businessman just like my mother and older sister." She took another deep breath; his eyes closely studying her made her feel insecure, but she pushed that feeling down.

"We were never encouraged to even think about applying for college because our husbands are expected to take care of us. And for the first sixteen years of my life I accepted it, and I played my part. Finn and I were going to be prom king and queen. Then we were going to be married and raise a family." Quinn's expression shifted from gloom to something more lighthearted. She got a little smile on her face, and the look in her eyes changed. Hiram thought it was an amazing sight to witness, and hoped she was about to share the reason behind it.

"And then I fell for your daughter," she said, her tone of voice was different also, lighter and hopeful than just seconds before. "Rachel's drive, her passion that she puts into absolutely everything she does, it's inspiring. I know I wouldn't be happy playing the doting housewife to a famous Broadway star. I need my own path too, but for the first sixteen years of my life I never thought I would even travel out of state, so it's going to take time to find my own path." Hiram's expression was unreadable, but that wasn't going to stop her from finished what she intended to do.

"If you don't mind, sir, will you answer one question for me?" she asked, and the seconds felt like hours as she waited for any type of response. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he nodded his head. "Why are you being so critical of me? The thought of you being this…harsh with a sixteen year old who doesn't have her future figured out seems a little farfetched. What's your real problem with me?"

He let out a long sigh, and turned the hot water off. He leaned his hip against the counter so he was facing the blonde, and crossed his arms over his chest. His face was still unreadable, and it was making Quinn uneasy.

"You're important to her," he said and scratched at the back of his neck. Quinn involuntarily sucked in a big breath at his words, and was having a hard time exhaling it. "Rachel's a daddy's girl. They've always had more things in common; it's always been easier for them to relate to one another. She always goes to him for comfort when she's hurt or sick, always goes to him first when she has something important she wants to share." He paused, and let out another little sigh.

"But she's also afraid of letting him down. His opinion matters a lot more than mine does," he said, and rubbed his temples with his index finger and thumb. Quinn was a little confused, but she kept quiet, and waited for him to make his point. "We practically had to pull teeth to get her to bring Finn over to the house. She was so afraid Leroy wasn't going to like him. But you, she was so excited for her daddy to meet you. She loves that you two get along so well." He paused again, internally debating whether or not to continue, and decided it was important enough to risk it.

"This part stays between us, ok?" he asked, and Quinn quickly nodded her head. Her heart sped up with anticipation, and she tried to guess what it could be that was so important he trusted her to keep it a secret. "When I was doing laundry last week I saw her journal sitting out, and I flipped through it." She could just imagine the temper tantrum Rachel would throw if she ever found out her dad read her journal. She knew this secret would have to go to her grave.

"She's already working you into her life plan," he said, and Quinn's eyes went a little wide. That she was not expecting at all. "She's already thinking about spending holiday breaks with you in New York instead of at home with us. She's already fantasizing about your wedding day…and night." Quinn blushed so hard it felt like the tips of her ears were about to explode. Hiram cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with that last statement. "You have the potential to make her so happy. You two seem perfect for one another. But if your life goals aren't compatible, it's going to hurt her so bad, and I don't want my baby's heart broken."

"Mr. Berry," she said, her emotions almost getting the best of her, but she held them in check. "I can't promise you that the future is going to be easy for us, but if we do end up separating it's not going to be because of the school I choose. I haven't decided completely which ones I'm going to apply to, but they're all in or near enough to New York that we could make it work." She paused and really thought hard about whether or not she should share this next piece of information. It could make her seem like more of a threat, but she had to take that risk.

"And Rachel's not the only one that's been fantasizing about a future together," she said, with a little blush on her face. Using the word fantasy and Rachel in the same sentence was bringing up all of the private fantasies she had about Rachel when she was alone in her bed. She shook those images from her mind's eye and focused on the conversation at hand. She wasn't a horny boy, she could control this. "If you want the details just call and ask my mother because I already spelled everything out for her." She tried so hard not to smirk, that sentence sounding so inappropriate after her last thought.

"I love your daughter, sir, and I can promise you that as long as we're together, I'm going to do everything in my power to make her happy and make her feel safe and loved –just like I know she's going to do for me," she said her voice thick with emotion.

Hiram nodded his head a little and he had a very unfocused look in his eyes. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking about, but she was too afraid of the answer. Finally, after what felt like hours of waiting, his eyes came back into focus, and he licked his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

"Ok," he said and stood up straight. Quinn was totally confused. What the hell did he mean by 'ok'? "I'm giving you a chance." Her whole body lit up at the sound of that. "You're by baby girl's first real love. I can only like you so much because of that, you understand?" She nodded her head yes even though she wasn't quite sure what that meant. "I'd like to apologize for being so hard on you tonight. You're sixteen, it's perfectly understandable not to have things figured out just yet." She tried to tell him he didn't need to apologize, but before she could get a word out he continued. "Why don't you and Rachel go downstairs and watch a movie? Just keep the door open, ok?"

"Yes, sir, of course," she said with a big smile on her face.

Hiram was giving her a chance. He was giving her the benefit of the doubt not to screw things up. She was so happy and relieved at that moment she felt like she could skip around and jump for joy. Not that she would in front of other people. She did, however, walk quickly out of the room before he had a chance to change his mind. Maybe this night wasn't going to turn out that bad after all. Just as long as Rachel let her pick the movie, but Quinn had a few tricks up her sleeves when it came to getting her way with the diva, and a couple more she was dying to try out.


	2. Chapter 2

The following Wednesday at school was a relatively uneventful one for the two. Even though everything was so mundane, Quinn was walking on cloud nine. She had an amazing girlfriend, her mother wasn't having as many mood swings or glasses of wine at night, and both Mr. and Mr. Berry seemed to accept her as a permanent fixture in their daughter's life. Yep, everything was looking up for the former cheerleader, and it was about freaking time.

The blonde pulled her books out of her locker and closed the metal door with a light click. Normally the little diva would be right there with her, talking away about something that Quinn would only be half paying attention to while trying hard not to think too hard about the short skirt the brunette would surely be wearing. But sadly, Rachel had a meeting with her English teacher to discuss why she only got a B+ on her last paper instead of an A.

When she turned to walk down the hall, something caught her eye that made her stop in her tracks. Santana was standing at her locker a few rows down, and the door was wide, but her head was turned and her body was very tense. Quinn slowly ran her eyes down the hall, searching for what her friend could possibly be looking at, and the sight was like a smack to the face. Brittany was talking with Artie, and she was running her fingers through his hair, and her body language was clearly more than friendly.

When the tall blonde bent down to give the boy a lingering kiss on the lips, Quinn's eyes flicked back to the Latina. The former cheerleader started walking towards her friend. Even though she knew the stubborn girl would deny being upset, she still needed to offer her a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on. That's just what friends do, and the other girl had been a pretty good friend lately. She hadn't called Rachel a hobbit in over three days, and the blonde knew that must've been hard.

Before she was even halfway to her friend, someone accidentally bumped into Santana's shoulder, jarring her out of her almost hypnotic state as her stare on Brittany and Artie was broken. Quinn held her breath. She knew this wasn't going to be good. Santana liked to think she kept everything hidden so well. She honestly believed no one knew about her and Brittany's "secret relationship." Quinn knew that a major part of the Latin's bullying of other students was redirection of her own feelings.

"Hey," she barked, and trained her angry gaze on the freshman who accidentally bumped into the Latina. The kid stopped in his tracks, too terrified to move. Santana's reputation was well known even to the lower classmen who had just started out at the school a couple of months before. "Watch where you're going, you little douche bag, or do you want to make my list?" He quickly shook his head no, but Quinn could tell by the look on the other girl's face that she wasn't done with him.

"Santana," she said, and gently placed her hand on her friend's arm. She looked at Santana's face, took a very close look at it, and was worried by what she saw. Her friend was so tense she was starting to grind her teeth, and that was a sign of horrible, god-awful things to come. "Why don't you walk me to class?" She asked, and her hand never left Santana's arm. Part of this was an attempt to keep the cheerleader grounded and out of her own head, and the other part was just in case she lunged for the poor boy.

"I think you need to get your eyes checked, Quinn," she snapped, her gaze finally leaving the freshman. Instead of running off, he continued to stand there, looking like he was about to wet himself. Quinn silently prayed the boy left soon because she wasn't sure if she would be able to get her friend to just walk away; not after what she had just witnessed between Brittany and Artie. "Do I look like your Keebler Elf girlfriend?"

Quinn's face darkened with agitation, and she tried as hard as she could to keep it in check. "Don't call her that," she said, her voice dropping a few octaves. She sounded scary, Santana thought, she sounded like the HBIC she used to be before she started dating the dwarf with absolutely no sense of style. "How about I reword that? Why don't you walk me to class instead of getting suspended for beating up a freshman?"

Santana let out a little sigh, and took a step back, getting out of the boy's personal space. "Whatever," she said, and crossed her arms over her chest. Today was just not her day, and she couldn't wait to get home and take the edge off. "The little twat's not worth the hassle." With that said, the boy finally ran off, and his existence was immediately forgotten by the two girls. They started walking down the hall towards Quinn's AP biology class, and the blonde hooped her arm through her friend's, but fought the urge to skip Wizard of Oz style. Santana looked at her as if former cheerleader had just grown a second head. "Really, Quinn? What are you gonna do next, invite me to a sock-hop and ask me if I wanna go steady?"

Quinn rolled her eyes, but a small smile formed on her face. "Maybe," she said, and she could practically feel Santana's eyes rolling. "But I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate that. She's not really into sharing, if you haven't noticed."

Quinn's heart fluttered a little when she said the word 'girlfriend.' It was hard to believe that just a couple of weeks ago what she was doing with Rachel was a dirty secret, and now she could openly talk about it like a normal person. The tingly feelings vanished, however, when the Latina got a very dirty smirk on her face, and Quinn only needed a glance of it to know something inappropriate was about to come out of her mouth.

"That's a shame, really, it should be illegal," she said, and Quinn looked over at her with a very confused expression on her face. "It should be an actual crime that I don't get to sample a bite of a Fabray-Berry sandwich." Quinn rolled her eyes and shook her head a little. She had a feeling Santana was going to say something like that, but thinking it and hearing it were two different things. "With how annoying and uptight your gnome is and how controlling you are, that's gotta be nothing but hot."

"You make it sound like we're kinky sex addicts, and don't call Rachel that. She isn't a gnome or a hobbit or any of the other names you like to call her," the blonde said, her voice clipped and dangerous. Santana rolled her eyes, and Quinn ignored it. "And stop trying to avoid what just happened, and don't deny that's what you're doing."

When Santana didn't say anything Quinn let out a small sigh. Just be patient, she thought, she's like one of those frightened animals trapped in a storm drain; if you go too fast she might reach out and rip your hand off. "Look Santana, I'm not trying to push you, but you should talk about this thing with Brittany. You still have feelings for her, and they're not going to go away just because you ignore them."

"What the hell do you know about it, Quinn?" Santana snapped and looked around the hallway to see if she could spot anyone eavesdropping on their conversation. It looked like the coast was clear. For now. Quinn held her breath and counted to ten. Santana was afraid, that was where the aggression came from, so the blonde would have to ignore the snotty attitude and really harsh tone if they were going to get anywhere in this conversation without getting in a big fight.

"I know more about it than you think," she said, and her tone was more revealing than she would have liked. The raw emotion in her voice made Santana look over at her, and the anger had vanished from her face. "I bottled my feelings, lived in denial, and I practically tortured the one person who's ever been able to make me feel something good in this hellhole, all because I was too afraid to be honest about my feelings. Do you think I don't know what it's like to have people talk crap about me behind my back? I was president of the celibacy club and then I got pregnant. Being out and dating Rachel is a freaking cake walk compared to that. So what are you so afraid of, Santana? What is crawling around inside your head that's so big and bad you can't just let it out?"

"I don't know how, alright?" she snapped and pulled away from Quinn so she could stand face to face. The fire in her eyes made Quinn take a step back, and she hated herself for it. If Santana thought she was intimidating her, this wasn't going to work. "I'm not like you, Quinn, or Berry, or even Brittany. I have all of these feelings burning me up inside, and every time I try to talk about them, my mind goes blank. The only time I'm ever really honest about my feelings is when I'm drunk. What am I supposed to do, get hammered every time I wanna tell Brit how I feel?"

Quinn had to bite her cheeks to stop herself from smiling. That was the most honest Santana had ever been with her about her feelings, and she was so proud she wanted to reach out and hug her.

"Why don't you sing a song about it?" she asked, sounding optimistic and hopeful that Santana wasn't about to shut down on her. The Latina gave her a look like she just grew a second head and it started singing show tunes off key. "Don't look at me like that, I'm serious. We have that assignment for Glee, why not kill two birds with one stone? You can tell Brittany how you feel, and if it's good enough, you'll get to sing a solo at Nationals. You can't honestly tell me the thought of being in that spotlight isn't appealing."

"You've been hanging out with Rachel way too freaking much, Quinn. Before you two got together you never would've suggested me getting up in front of everyone and singing some sissy-ass song," she said, and let out a little sigh. Quinn remained silent. She could tell by the look on Santana's face that she was considering it. If she spoke now the other girl might spook and all of this work would have been for nothing. "How am I supposed to pick a song that talks about how I feel when I can't even freaking articulate how I feel?" The smile Quinn got on her face at that moment could have been described as devilish. Santana actually gulped a little, fearing what the blonde had up her metaphorical sleeve.

"Don't worry about that part. I'll take care of it. Be in the auditorium after school, ok?" she asked, and Santana nodded her head in agreement.

Any other day she probably would have told the blonde to fuck off, but this day was different. Quinn was right, even though she would never say those words out loud. She still had feelings for Brittany, and keeping all of those bottled up inside were driving her insane, especially after seeing that little display she and the robot had put on in the hall. It was like Brittany didn't have any respect for her at all, but she couldn't really blame her. She didn't respect Brittany enough to even look at her when they had sex; why should the blonde even pretend to care about the feelings Santana fought so hard to hide?


	3. Chapter 3

"Quinn, are you sure this is a good idea? Santana doesn't like me, at all, in any way. So are you sure me being in the room while she's feeling emotionally vulnerable is a good idea?" the nervous diva rambled. Glee club ended about fifteen minutes ago, and Santana had been the first out the door. Sitting through Glee on a good day was hard enough, but doing it while being forced to watch the Brittany and Boy Robot show made her skin crawl in a way it never had before. She was Santana Fucking Lopez for God's sake. People parted before her when she walked done the hall. She didn't get jealous, but apparently her heart was unaware of that fact.

"Baby, everything is going to be fine," Quinn said and left a little kiss on Rachel's cheek. She had made the little diva promise to go with her to the auditorium no matter what, and after Rachel promised, she filled her in on what was going on. Her girlfriend was not happy about it at all. At first she refused. Then the blonde played dirty and asked Rachel what it would feel like if she had left the brunette for Finn if Rachel had refused to come out. The diva stopped fighting Quinn then, but she still had her concerns.

They were silent for a few seconds, and then Quinn mumbled under her breath, "Besides, Santana likes you just fine."

"What was that, honey?" she asked, with a very curious look on her face. Quinn only mumbled under her breath like that when something was bothering her, but was too afraid to say anything. Quinn hated confrontation, which was ironic considering she was a bully for years. Quinn looked over at her with a slightly panicked look on her face. She didn't think Rachel had heard any of that, and maybe she wanted her to on a subconscious level. But she also knew if Rachel found out about the...inappropriate things Santana said about the two of them then the diva would never agree to help her out.

"Nothing, sweetheart," she said, and she could tell by the look on her diva's face that wasn't going to be enough. "I just don't think Santana hates you. She just acts like that because she's emotionally stunted. Just don't tell her I said that." It wasn't a total lie, though if the Latina ever found out she said that she would be killed. Very slowly and painfully. She glanced over at her girlfriend and was relieved that Rachel seemed happy with that answer. The last thing she needed was unwanted drama because Santana wanted a threesome.

"That does make sense," Rachel said, sounding a little distracted by her thoughts. Quinn's eyebrows furrowed a little, and she tried to imagine what Rachel was thinking but her mind drew a blank. "Daddy says that people who are never taught how to deal with their emotions often act out violently or are verbally abusive because they don't know how to properly communicate their feelings. I always suspected that's what Santana is doing. It's rare that a person is mean for no reason." Even though Rachel nailed it, Quinn kept her mouth shut. She didn't need Rachel's ego getting bigger.

"What the hell, Tubbers, what is Treasure Trail doing here?" Santana spat as she stood up from the auditorium seat. Quinn was about to step forward, tired of all the names the cheerleader constantly called her girlfriend, but Rachel grabbed onto her elbow. Quinn turned and looked at the brunette, and the look on Rachel's face made all of the anger in Quinn fade away. It reminded the blonde that Santana was afraid and acting out. Getting angry at a kneejerk reaction and lashing out was only going to make the situation worse and make Santana shut down.

"Don't call her that." She said it calmly, but already felt like a broken record. "I told you I would help you pick out a song to sing to Brittany, and Rachel knows this stuff better than anyone. If you want to get through this without giving up as soon as you get frustrated, then you'll let her help." Santana looked over at Rachel, and she was actually blushing. Her eyebrow rose a little in surprise. Normally the tiny loudmouth only blushed when the Latina made an innuendo aimed the diva's way.

"Quinn is being kind. I'm not better than everyone at picking out songs that line up perfectly with their emotions," Rachel said with a small smile on her face. Both of the Latina's eyebrows got lost somewhere in her hairline. Was it too good to be true? Had Quinn actually humbled the dwarf? "I may be better than most people, and certainly the majority of people at this school, but I think it's a stretch saying that I'm better than everyone in general." Nope, Quinn hadn't done shit to change Rachel's obnoxious ego. She would have to talk to the former cheerleader about that.

"Whatever, Dwarf," Santana said with a roll of her eyes. "Let's just get this over with. I have cosmetics to shoplift if I'm going to maintain this hot piece of ass." Both the blonde and her girlfriend rolled their eyes at the cheerleader's arrogance. "My control at this school only goes so far if people aren't drooling over me." The blonde and the little brunette shared a look, their own silent language agreeing how self-absorbed their friend sounded, and shook their heads.

Quinn set the boom box down on the piano, and Rachel started going through her backpack. She pulled out her music books and some CDs of what she thought would be the most relatable songs for Santana's situation.

"There's no need for name calling, Santana," the diva said, and carefully laid everything out on the piano. "I understand how hard it is to come to terms with your feelings for another person." She avoided the eye contract Quinn was trying to make. She felt too guilty for the way she acted before, and even though she knew the blonde didn't care anymore, it was still too much for her to handle. "In fact, if it hadn't been for you kissing Quinn at my party, I honestly don't know if I would have had the courage to tell anyone about us." The Latina got a devilish grin on her face that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde.

"You mean you marked your territory," she said, and Rachel looked up with a glare on her face. Santana folded her arms across her chest and rested most of her weight on her left foot. It was her classic HBIC stance, and the other two recognized it right away. "I get it, Berry. I really do. If my girl was getting her mack on with someone as hot as me, I would feel insecure too. I mean, you gotta be wondering what it was like, why Quinn didn't pull away when I tried to cop a feel." Quinn blushed so hard, the tips of her ears felt like they were going to explode.

"She was drunk," the diva said, hands on hips, and a dangerous gleam in her eyes. Santana was impressed, and Quinn hoped it didn't show just how much that look was turning her on. Things were already bad enough without being embarrassed about that. "She wasn't thinking clearly. And you can save the effort to try and make me jealous. I'm very confident in my abilities. You're not a threat to me." The more she talked, the bigger Santana's grin became. She looked like the Cheshire Cat who was about to pounce. It made the little diva nervous, but she refused to look away.

"Oh really?" Santana said, that perfect eyebrow rising just so. "If I'm not a threat, why do you glare at me like you're going to claw my eyes out every time you see me talking to Quinn?" Rachel let out a little huff, but the blonde looked nothing but curious. She hated that they were talking about her like she wasn't in the room, but she also wanted to know why the diva just couldn't let it go. She watched Rachel closely, and the brunette seemed to be having trouble finding the words she wanted to say. She couldn't believe it. Rachel Berry had finally been rendered speechless.

"Ok, so I get a little jealous," she admitted, and Santana got a very self-satisfied smirk on her face. Quinn couldn't help but roll her eyes. This was just typical Santana: work everyone up until they're over emotional just for a few kicks. "But I think that's justifiable considering you had your hands all over my girlfriend at my party. I'm not afraid she's going to cheat on me or leave me for you, but every time I see you two talking I can't help but picture that night, and remembering how passionate you two were making my insides burn."

The next few seconds seemed to go by in slow motion. While Rachel was still talking, Santana had stepped forward into the shorter brunette's personal space. When the diva was finished with her tangent, the Latina leaned down those couple of inches and their lips collided. She kissed the annoying dwarf for all she was worth and tried really hard not to smile into the kiss when Rachel kissed her back. It didn't happen right away, she had to gently prod the girl out of her shock in order for it to happen, but once it did Rachel lost herself in that kiss. She put her hands on Santana's hips, and tried to pull her closer, but when she did the other girl backed away.

"Ok, there, now you've both had a sample of this gift to humanity and you can stop whining about it. I'm a good kisser, it's just what I do, and you can't blame me or Quinn for getting lost in a moment 'cause you just did too," she said, and went over to the CDs Rachel had laid out.

Rachel turned to her girlfriend, shocked and wide eyed, and Quinn was looking the same. The same, but a little different. Her face and chest was flushed and her eyes were darker, her pupils dilated. Rachel knew that look anywhere, her girlfriend was turned on, but she couldn't call her out on it now with Santana in the room. No, it would have to wait.

"Berry, you are out of your freaking mind if you think I'm going to get up in front of everyone and sing show tunes," she said as she flipped through CD after CD and all of them were soundtracks to hit Broadway musicals. She couldn't believe this, but at the same time she could. Rachel always had to make everything about her; why would Santana's emotional turmoil be any different? "Everyone knows you're going to be up on Broadway singing your little heart out, but these are not me. I don't want big and dramatic, I just want something real." She tossed the discs onto the piano, and turned around to glare at the other girl.

"If you would keep looking, Santana, you'll see that I didn't just bring show tunes," she said calmly even though she really wanted to go on another one of her tangents about all of the musicals she had on disc being about true self-expression, self-discovery, and that they were more real than anything on the radio. Maybe she was growing after all. "One of the benefits of dating someone who isn't a Broadway addict, as you so eloquently put it last week, is my taste in music is expanding." Santana went for the bottom of the pile and sure enough, there were more than just _Wicked_ and _Funny Girl_ soundtracks to be found.

"Now, I don't know for sure what you're going for, what kind of emotions you want to express. Anger and jealousy, hurt and betrayal, or even an apology, but I have a wide variety of songs for you to choose from," she said and looked over at Quinn with a little smile on her face. Quinn smiled back. She was proud of Rachel for being this open-minded about their little "project." She knew asking the diva to help was a bit of a risk. Rachel liked to shove ballads and show tunes down everyone's throats, but she wasn't doing that today.

"It needs to be a duet," Santana said, her voice low and laced with vulnerability. Rachel and Quinn exchanged a confused expression, and the Latina couldn't help but roll her eyes. "I can't get up and sing to Brittany by myself. I just…I can't."

Rachel tried to be encouraging, tried to tell the other girl to be brave and get up there and sing her heart out, because if she didn't, then these feelings would drive her crazy. She tried to do that, but she instantly snapped her jaw shut when she felt Quinn's hand on her arm.

"If that's what you need, Santana, I'd be more than happy to sing with you," the diva said, and Quinn let go of her arm. She felt like a little bit of an ass. She didn't want her girlfriend to think she was trying to control her…even though that's exactly what she was doing. Rachel turned and gave her girlfriend a little kiss on the lips, just a peck to let her know she wasn't going to get too wrapped up in this. "Baby, why don't you sit and watch, and tell us which ones you think bring out the most emotion, ok?"

"I can do that," Quinn said and stole another kiss before walking off the stage. Santana watched all of this with a sad look on her face. The way those two interacted reminded her a little bit of the times she and Brittany would sing together in her room. They would bicker over which songs to sing, and finally she would give in and let Brittany get her way. Brittany always got her way, it seemed. Well, almost always. Unfortunately, Santana couldn't give her what she really needed, and she was so regretful she could barely stand it.

"So Quinn likes to watch, huh?" she said before either of them could notice how sad and exposed she felt. "Maybe we need to get together later, Berry, and give your girl a show."

The two whipped their heads towards the Latina, who was smiling that self-satisfied smirk again. Quinn was glaring so hard, cartoon steam was practically shooting out of her ears, but the look on Rachel's face was different. She didn't look mad, she was smirking too, and it made the Latina feel a little nervous, though she refused to show it. Rachel looked over her shoulder at Quinn and gave her a little wink before walking up to the other girl.

"Santana," she said, and got so close to the other girl that her exhales were lightly brushing the cheerleader's ear. She felt totally out of place doing something like this, but why should Quinn get to have all of the fun in this relationship? She could pull a prank just as well, and paybacks are supposed to be a bitch, right? So she really made a show out of it. She arched her back until their chests were almost but not quite touching, and her lips barely grazed against the other girl's ear as she spoke.

"As good as you may be, I don't think you could handle this _pieza caliente de culo_," she whispered, and she couldn't help the throaty chuckle when she heard the cheerleader moan. One thing that Quinn and Santana could agree on: Rachel speaking Spanish was nothing but hot. She left a little kiss on Santana's cheek before walking over to the piano and going through the CDs. With one glance over her shoulder she knew just how turned on Quinn was, and the devilish smirk she got on her face let her girlfriend know that it had been planned that way.

Oh, she would pay for that later. Quinn would make sure of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Santana took a deep breath and tried to calm her twitchy nerves. She was standing backstage in the auditorium, and she felt like she was going to puke. Any minute she was going on that stage to perform her song for Brittany, and her stomach was tying itself in knots. She was Santana Fucking Lopez, this should not have been happening. She ruled this school now that the Keebler Elf had Quinn on a tight leash, but the thought of going out there and putting her heart on display was terrifying.

"Are you nervous?" Quinn asked as she walked up to the cheerleader. Santana glared at her because she was trying not to be obvious and failing. She had to hold back the urge to lash out verbally at the annoying blonde standing there practically mocking her with her smug little grin and laid back attitude. "Don't be nervous, ok? Just pretend it's any other day, and you're up on that stage making it your bitch."

"Oh, I'll make that stage my bitch, that's without question," she said with a small smirk on her face. But then her expression changed, and to anyone else she would have looked fine, but Quinn knew she just how upset her friend really was. "I'm just afraid Brittany's not going to understand the song is about her, you know?"

Quinn couldn't help herself any longer. She reached out and wrapped the Latina in a tight hug. At first, the cheerleader, out of her uniform and wearing a simple black skirt and red top, tensed, but for only a moment. She relaxed into the embrace, and held Quinn just as tightly.

"The only way you're going to know that for sure is if you talk to her," she said quietly as she gently rubbed Santana's back, and she felt more than heard the deep shuddering breath. The blonde took that as a sign that she was about to cry, and it caused her to panic a little. She had dealt with an overemotional Santana before, but always angry and on the verge of violence or screaming at someone in Spanish.

"I know, and it scares the _vivir la mierda fuera de mi,"_ she said, her voice a breathy whisper, and she tightened her grip on the blonde to almost painful. Quinn felt bad for her friend, and her heart went out to her. She knew exactly what it felt like to be afraid of her feelings. She knew that Santana couldn't put her feelings into words because the fear was getting in the way. It was almost insane to think that just a couple short months ago she was exactly where Santana was in that moment.

"I know how scary it can be talking to someone about your feelings," she said and rubbed Santana's back a little more. She pulled away a little, keeping her arms wrapped around her friend, but she wanted to look into the Latina's eyes for the next part. "Just remember that you're not alone in this. Rachel and I are here for you. We know what you're going through. So don't hesitate to come to one of us if you need us. Promise me. Promise you won't just keep it bottled in." They stared each other down for a few seconds, and although Santana didn't want to give in, she was too tired to keep this up any longer.

"Ok, Blondie, I promise," she said, and broke eye contact with her friend. She wasn't used to accepting help. Much like Quinn, she was raised to believe that you handle your own problems; help is for the weak. But if she were being completely honest with herself, she was tired of thinking that way. She was tired of keeping everything locked up inside. She wasn't about to change who she was completely, though. She wouldn't attend Lilith Fair ever, and over her dead body would she ever have a mullet.

"Santana," they heard a voice from the side of the stage and they turned. It was Rachel, and she was looking at them with a small smile on her face. She had watched the entire exchange, and she couldn't be more proud of either of them. Her girlfriend was reaching out, willing to show her vulnerable side to help a friend, and Santana was finally letting her walls down. This day was a good day, even if it did have a bitter taste to it. "Although I appreciate the diva-like quality of making everyone wait so you can get a grip on your emotions, people are starting to complain and the boys have said if we don't hurry up, they're going to leave."

"They can kiss my ass. This isn't about those selfish pricks. As long as Brittany is still out there I don't care who else shows up," she spat, and Rachel actually took a step back, her hands up in mock surrender. She was going to say something about not killing the messenger, but before she could get a word out, Santana stormed passed her and onto the stage. The set-up was simple, just two black stools sitting in the middle of the stage about three feet apart. Santana took her seat, Rachel right on her heels, and the light slowly came into focus on them as the music started to play.

"I wanted you to know," Santana started, her eyes trying to recognize the faces out in the crowd but the lights were too bright. She was having trouble finding Brittany, and it was very frustrating. She didn't want to look like she was singing to the blonde, but she wanted to keep an eye on the other girl's expressions to see if she was understanding the subtext. That's all they seemed to have between them outside of their bedrooms – subtext and pinky holding.

"That I love the way you laugh. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away," she sang, her eyes quickly adjusting to the brightness shining down on her, and she could just barely make out Brittany's silhouette in the seat. She thought of all the times Brittany wanted to show affection in public, and she shot her down. How easy it would have been to wipe the frown off the blonde's face if she had just stood on her tiptoes and given her a light kiss to soothe the wound.

"I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well." She would never admit it out loud, but she had a picture of Brittany, after their last National win for cheerleading. Santana had held up her phone, and the girl had done some crazy pose, her face lit up with a huge smile, and Santana had been laughing so hard at how adorable it was she wasn't sure if the picture was going to come out right. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain."

That was still true, no matter what happened between them. She wished she could take back all the times she wrote the other girl off, saying what they had was meaningless and was nothing more than temporarily curing her itch. She wanted Brittany to be hers, she wanted to take her in her arms and make up for all the times she hurt the other girl with her insecurities and fear. When she saw the blonde lean down and whisper something in Artie's ear, it felt like a knife to the gut, and she had to fight to stop herself from physically reacting.

"Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome," Rachel joined in on the chorus softly, just like she was supposed to. She made sure to keep her voice toned down. Even though she could easily overpower Santana's range and steal the attention, like she had been trained to do all of these years, for once she accepted the fact that this wasn't about her. "And I don't feel right when you're gone away." Santana looked over at Rachel, searching for some kind of support. Her insides were crawling and screaming at her to run. This vulnerable, exposed feeling was not something she allowed herself to feel, like, ever.

"You've gone away," she sang, and this time looked directly at Brittany. She wasn't sure if the blonde could tell if she was the one being serenaded in that moment, but Santana hoped she would pick up on it. Even if Artie found out, she didn't care as long as Brittany got the message. "You don't feel me here anymore." She tried to keep her emotions off her face, but she could feel her eyebrows furrow like they always did when she was upset or angry about something. She just hoped everyone thought it was the portrayal of the emotion of the song.

"The worst is over now," Rachel sang, and allowed herself a moment to steal a little of the spotlight. There had been much debate when picking out this song as to who was going to sing which part. Although Santana said she could do Amy Lee justice while Rachel would fall flat on her face, the first two lyrics of the female solo were untrue for her situation. So she had reluctantly handed it over to the Dwarf diva. "And we can breathe again. I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away. There's so much left to learn, and no war left to fight. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain."

Unlike in the song, Santana didn't harmonize any of these lyrics because she didn't think they were completely true for her and Brittany. There was a war going on, not just inside Santana who was fighting with herself to get the courage to come out, but there was a war to win Brittany's heart back. Even if Artie didn't know he was a part of it. She took a moment to watch the two as they watched her and Rachel, but when the chorus came up again she took a deep breath and tried for the left of her to sing to someone else. It didn't work.

"'Cause I'm broken when I'm open, and I don't feel like I am strong enough." In her mind Rachel's voice faded, even though it was a perfect harmony. All Santana could see was the blonde, slightly hidden from the bright lights, and even though she wouldn't admit it, tears sprang to her eyes. That should be her sitting in the auditorium watching Rachel sing on stage. It should be her whispering in the dancer's ear and making her giggle. "'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away."

As they sat through the instrumental, waiting for the chorus to come back around, Santana's body felt like it had gone numb. Her emotions were literally eating her from the inside out, causing her nerves to paralyze, and she couldn't think about what she was supposed to be concentrating on. As Rachel started singing again, Santana did too, but she wasn't actually hearing any of it. She could have been singing the chorus to "99 Luft Balloons" for all she knew.

When the song came to an end everyone applauded, and Mr. Schue started asking questions. The main one was why they chose to sing together since they weren't all that friendly towards one another, at all. Santana looked over at Rachel, and she saw her lips moving and heard sounds coming out but she couldn't comprehend them. She was overwhelmed, she couldn't breathe, and she needed out. She could feel Brittany watching her. Now that the music was gone she could hear the whispers, and Artie's voice was coming through clearly. He was questioning why the Latina had barely taken her eyes off his girlfriend.

Santana jumped off the stool and hurried off the stage. It wasn't quite a Rachel Berry storm off, but close. She could hear someone coming up behind her, but she kept moving. She heard someone call out her name, but she didn't stop to turn around. Not until someone grabbed onto her arm. She whipped around, hand pulled back, ready to smack the hell out of whoever grabbed her, until she saw it was Rachel. She put her arm down, tears running down her face, and she crumbled.

"It's ok, Santana," Rachel said, and she wrapped her arms around the sobbing girl. She had never seen anyone in such a state of distress. It unnerved her knowing that it was Santana. The Latina had always been strong, always been emotionally guarded. Seeing that wall tumble down made Rachel feel a little uneasy. The world just didn't make sense when Santana was crying, and she wasn't drunk. "Everything is going to work out. You'll see." She hated that those were the only words she could come up with.

"No, no it won't," Santana managed to choke out around her sobs. She could barely breathe, tears were running down her face smearing her makeup, and all she could do was cling to Rachel as if she were the last life vessel on a sinking ship. "I fucked it up. I always fuck everything up." She could feel Rachel rubbing small circles over her back, much like Quinn had done earlier. It didn't calm her down at all. No, now the comforting gesture felt like rubbing salt in a festering wound, but she was too weak to push the other girl away.

"Santana, listen to me," Rachel gently said into the other girl's ear. "You didn't ruin anything. Not, permanently. Even if Brittany doesn't take you back, there are plenty of other women in this country that would be lucky to have you, ok?" She knew she probably wasn't going to get her message across, not with the other girl being this upset, but she had to try. "You're smart, and independent, and you stand up for what you believe in, and you speak your mind even when it makes you the outcast." Rachel looked up when she heard a noise, and she saw Quinn and Brittany standing about ten feet away watching the entire thing. The smaller of the two was practically holding the other back.

"You're going to be ok, Santana, because as soon as you work through your issues and come out, women are going to be tripping over themselves for a chance to be with you," she said, and she couldn't help but feel a little angry that Brittany was here watching. Yes, Santana was the one who had caused the hurt in the first place, but this seemed too intimate, too personal for anyone to be watching from the sidelines. Even Quinn's presence felt like an intrusion, and she knew what was going on better than anyone. "You just have to trust me. Trust me when I tell you you're going to be fine." She left a little kiss on the side of the girl's head as they stood there, and Santana sobs continued to echo through the building.


	5. Author's Note

**For those of you who subscribed to the story alerts, I just wanted to let you know that I've posted the next installment of this series. It's titled _Forever. _I have the first chapter up so far, but my muse is being kind so look for more soon!**


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